A Simple Idea to Help Keep Disagreements in Context
How do you respond when someone close to you says or does something you dislike?
Many of us are reactive in our responses, not giving much thought before we go on the offensive.
Whether it is something someone said or did, or my plans not going as I had anticipated, we often overreact
In doing so, we let go of our power to rationally respond to the problem.
Instead our thought process is more like “I have been wronged, so my response is justified!”
We may not have liked what was done or said, but we still have the power to control our response.
Here’s the thing.
Our response is our choice.
No one is making us do anything.
We may not have like what was done or said, but we still have the power to control our response.
When these situations present themselves, there is usually 3 parts involved:
Part 1) What was said or done by someone else
Part 2) OUR CHOICE on how to react
Part 3) Our action.
When things are said and done that we don’t expect, we often miss the middle part of the equation.
In doing so, we give up our power to choose how to respond.
Instead we chose knee jerk reactions.
0 to 100 real quick.
As much as we want, we can’t change anyone.
That is a choice each individual has to make.
We can only change ourselves.
Before we respond, we can choose how to respond.
Even if that means walking away or taking a few deep breaths before reacting.
More often than not, our response helps to either defuse the problem or escalate it.
We don’t have to be in a reactive state all of the time.
That reactive state is fight or flight, and in most situations, we don’t have to do either.
Sure we’ll slip up and our emotions will get the best of us from time to time.
But this isn’t about perfection.
It is about progress.
It is about being objective and acknowledging our faults.
We live in an imperfect world, but we often expect perfection from those around us.
With a little more understanding and a minute to digest what is in front of us, we can choose a better response.
And over time, better responses lead to better relationships.
And I’m sure that is something we all want in our lives.